Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
