so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
