I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
