Swine flu. Run for my life!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
