On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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