Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
