It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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