well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
