remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
