She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
this hospital has no fireball
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
