Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
