Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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