I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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