He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You smell like stripper and shame
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh god it's open bar.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
