oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
