Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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