I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
