My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
