I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
