Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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