One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
