she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I cut my penus on the lid.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
