my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
