We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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