so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize