oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
