I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize