so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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