Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
