you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
