He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
