i just wanna soil my oats bro
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
