beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
