16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
