ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
