Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
