WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
