...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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