I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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