Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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