i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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