i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
