let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
