I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
