Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
