he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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