My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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