i love accidental penises.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
