True but thats because hes a fetus.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize