I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
