Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
