I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
