I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize