She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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