Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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