are you still at the devil's house?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
