you turned your livingroom into a bong?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
