I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize