You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
