I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
