Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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(765): View more from Indiana

let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.

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(458): View more from Oregon

I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

(350): View more from

You are my idol.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises

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