Just mADE A PArabola og urine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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