Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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