when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm both gender and math confused
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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